I'm not making this up

Seriously, people. This is proof that people who buy and drive Corollas aren't good drivers.

Today Automotive News reports the following:

Toyota Motor Corp. faces yet another possible federal investigation, this time of the electric power steering in 2009 and 2010 Corollas.The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is considering a formal investigation of alleged defects reported in the compact car, agency spokeswoman Karen Aldana said.

Automotive News found that the Corolla has been the subject of 83 power-steering complaints since April 2008, 76 of which have reported that the vehicle unexpectedly veers to the left or right at 40 miles an hour and up.

Complainants have compared the movement to being buffeted by strong winds, sliding on black ice, or hydroplaning. They said that after trying to straighten the car, it can overcorrect -- requiring the driver to use a tight, persistent, two-handed grip on the wheel to travel in a straight line.

Really? They have to hold the steering wheel to make the car drive straight? No shit?

I think the Toyota drivers deserve what they get. When you veer off the road and crash, one less idiotic driver on the road for me to contend with.

Also today, Toyota has announced it is recalling all 2010 Prius models, to install new software to make the brakes work.

After all of these recalls and investigations, will anybody buy Toyota's blandmobiles anymore?

The Corolla is not a mid-sized car.

In my travels for work, I rent cars from Avis on an almost weekly basis. They have locations almost everywhere. By definition, then, a place without Avis is basically nowhere.

I traveled to Nowhere this week, also known as Walla Walla. They don't have an Avis location, only Hertz and Budget. According to the popluar saying, the town is so nice they named it twice. If the ancestors of the Hertz agent are responsible for naming it, perhaps the double name is because they forgot they named it the first time.

I don't really have anything against the town, it's actually pleasant to visit in the spring and fall. However, when I landed there on Tuesday at 9:00 PM, it was 11 degrees. I hustled across the snowy tarmac and into the terminal, and over the Hertz counter, where the agent confirmed that my car was mid-sized, as that was all he had. When I was handed the Toyota key, without a remote fob, I was confused. Don't all modern cars have keyless entry?

Not the Corolla I was rented. Now my first comment was that the Corolla isn't mid-sized. Well, according to the agent (and the Hertz fleet guide) it is. When I got out to stall 5 in the ice-covered parking lot, I found that my Corolla was completely iced over, and frost even covered the INSIDE of the rear window.

I started the car, let it warm while I de-iced. The Suzuki and the Kia parked on either side of my car were equally icy, and no more desirable. Finally de-iced, I set about pulling away.

Immediately the lack of traction from the econobox tires was apparent. A touch of the brakes confirmed that, yes, in 2008 new cars are still available without ABS.

I've decided that the CE moniker on the back of the Corolla means Crappy Econobox. What joy I experienced stomping on the gas pedal and letting the tires spin, spin, spin on the ice.

I don't have anything good to say about the car. When I did reach dry pavement, the accelleration was uninspiring, the brakes were merely adequate, and the cockpit wasn't big enough for me. The motor was noisy. I 4-wheel drifted each corner as quickly as iI could on Wednesday afternoon to return the POS to Hertz. Yuck. I don't want to drive one of those again.

Selling a dented tan Corolla

My neighbors across the street are moving to the midwest. Their banged up tan Camry is already back there. Their Corolla is across the street, in their driveway, for sale.

So far, I've seen several people over "kicking the tires", asking questions, poking around, making offers well below the $7000 asking price. My neighbor complained to me that the book value is $7500, and asked me why people were offering just $6000 and complaining about the floor mats being dirty.

So, neighbor, let me tell you why:

1. There is a huge dent in the front fender just in front of the driver's door. And the right rear corner/bumper is caved in. Who wants to spend $7k on a dented Corolla? Who wants to spend that much on anything so dented? You can buy a perfectly good Saab 9-3 turbo for that price, which is just as reliable, infinitely more stylish, and actually fun to drive.

2. Your car is certainly a mess inside. You clean it twice a year (with a power washer) and there is visible garbage in the back window.

3. You have no service records, since you did all of the service by yourself in your driveway.

4. The passenger side headlamp is out. I noticed it last Thanksgiving, and it is still out.

5. Last night I saw you drive away with a full-sized couch tied to the roof of the car. If I were a prospective buyer I'd run the other way.

6. The wheels are cheap stamped metal whose paint is flaking off.

So summarize, dear neighbor, people aren't offering you very much money for your car because it is dented and junky. It isn't worth the Blue Book "good" amount because it isn't in good condition. You'll be lucky to get rid of it!

Hall of Shame

I'm proud to introduce a new feature to Anti-Camry. I'm calling it the Hall of Shame.

Hall of Shame posts will feature what we've come to know as the status quo in Camryland... the junky cars and ones parked "just like a Camry."

Tonight's Hall of Shame is courtesy of my family's walk to the local library. My daughter got to touch all the stuff in the library that every kid in town has already coughed on; while my wife and I got an eyefull of these two prime examples of today's Toyotas:

Exhibit A: Parking... those lines are really just a suggestion, right?

Exhibit B:

There's a whole world of these poorly driven, dented Toyotas, piloted by a legion of cluless idiots. So you're sure to see another Hall of Shame post very soon.

Your car is a piece of JUNK and you're a bad driver!!

I always intended this blog as a place to show off all of the crappy, banged-up Toyotas I see every day driving around. As it turns out, I don't always have my camera handy when I'm driving around, and I pass most of the crap-mobiles without snapping a photo.

That being said, I've managed to take just a few, which, I've decided, it's time to share.

The first is this faded, rusty red Corolla. It's a bit tough to see in the photo, but the original driver-door mirror is broken off. It has been stylishly replaced by a truck mirror. Beautiful. At least it should help reduce blind spots. Notice that this fat guy is driving in the 2nd lane, even though the right lane is empty. I would expect nothing less.

Next is the following Yaris, which I was lucky enough to follow through Coeur d'Alene last week. Good job on the customized body work. All 5 people in the car (yes, 5) were smoking with the windows open in the 102 degree F heat. Seems like a great time.

That brings us to my across-the-street neighbor. I hate to air the neighborhood's dirty laundry here on my personal blog, but really. He doesn't really ever wash his 2 tan Toyotas. But when he does, he really washes them. Here he is, POWER WASHING the two banged up appliances. BTW, the Corolla has had a headlight out since winter, and the Camry is scraped on the front-right fender, with the scrape terminating in a missing passenger-door mirror cover. Awesome. He also told me that the Corolla's Check Engine light goes on when he runs the air conditioning... when he called the dealer to enquire, they told him that "the light shouldn't come on until after 100,000 miles." Hmm... He actually drove the Camry out to his wife in Chicago earlier this month... that would have been an interesting, scary sight to behold. I'm happy to have been safely here in Washington. I'd like to be able to say that the absense of the Camry reduced the Toyota count on our street, but that isn't the case. His next-door neighbor traded the family's Chrysler Town & Country for a new Prius last week. Another family falls for the hype. And we're down to just two Toyota-free houses on my street, though the other holdout's Buick Skylark sedan doesn't win him any prizes.

Finally, a bit of Zen provided by cars other than Toyota: we spied this awesome PT Cruiser limo near Scappose, Oregon on Saturday. There it is, poking along in the left lane of HWY 30. Nobody has ever accused the PT Cruiser of being overpowered, and adding the extra weight of the stretch certainly didn't help.

I thought people rented limos when they wanted to celebrate, or for a special occasion. What would anybody possibly want to celebrate by renting this car? Poor taste? Poor crash ratings? Or maybe just poor driving in general. Thanks, Mr. PT Chauffeur, for driving in the left lane in your bad idea. You've given us all something to laugh at this week.

Idiot Corolla operator at the gas station!

I stopped by the local Costco gas today in my snooty Euro-Sportwagon and, fortunately, I was able to pull right up to begin fueling my thirsty car with premium gas.

In the next lane over, a car had pulled away from the front pump but a second car was still fueling at the rear pump. Typical etiquette is to pull around the car which is still fueling and back up to align yourself with the pump. However, the Fat Female in the filthy white Corolla was just sitting there waiting for the second car to leave. She had her windows open. The station attendant approached the car and told the lady she could pull around. Her response was something like "No, I'll just wait, I'm not that good at backing up." WTF??!!

Fortunately there was nobody behind her. If I had been behind her I would have had an anyeurism, or shouted obscenities at her, or pulled around her, effectively "cutting" in line. Or maybe all three.

This is just another example of why Corollas and Camrys (and probably all Toyotas) should come with mandatory driver training. If this female couldn't pull around the car in front of her and back up a few feet to fill up her car, she probably shouldn't even be on the road. Imagine how many fewer cars we'd have on the road if the new Toyotas had this mandatory Driver Training requirement... people would take the class, fail the exam, and their blandmobiles would just have to be parked at home or returned to the dealership.

Right. Well, we can dream, at least.