The Corolla is not a mid-sized car.

In my travels for work, I rent cars from Avis on an almost weekly basis. They have locations almost everywhere. By definition, then, a place without Avis is basically nowhere.

I traveled to Nowhere this week, also known as Walla Walla. They don't have an Avis location, only Hertz and Budget. According to the popluar saying, the town is so nice they named it twice. If the ancestors of the Hertz agent are responsible for naming it, perhaps the double name is because they forgot they named it the first time.

I don't really have anything against the town, it's actually pleasant to visit in the spring and fall. However, when I landed there on Tuesday at 9:00 PM, it was 11 degrees. I hustled across the snowy tarmac and into the terminal, and over the Hertz counter, where the agent confirmed that my car was mid-sized, as that was all he had. When I was handed the Toyota key, without a remote fob, I was confused. Don't all modern cars have keyless entry?

Not the Corolla I was rented. Now my first comment was that the Corolla isn't mid-sized. Well, according to the agent (and the Hertz fleet guide) it is. When I got out to stall 5 in the ice-covered parking lot, I found that my Corolla was completely iced over, and frost even covered the INSIDE of the rear window.

I started the car, let it warm while I de-iced. The Suzuki and the Kia parked on either side of my car were equally icy, and no more desirable. Finally de-iced, I set about pulling away.

Immediately the lack of traction from the econobox tires was apparent. A touch of the brakes confirmed that, yes, in 2008 new cars are still available without ABS.

I've decided that the CE moniker on the back of the Corolla means Crappy Econobox. What joy I experienced stomping on the gas pedal and letting the tires spin, spin, spin on the ice.

I don't have anything good to say about the car. When I did reach dry pavement, the accelleration was uninspiring, the brakes were merely adequate, and the cockpit wasn't big enough for me. The motor was noisy. I 4-wheel drifted each corner as quickly as iI could on Wednesday afternoon to return the POS to Hertz. Yuck. I don't want to drive one of those again.

RAM YA!

Erik sent this one to me from his cell phone; he's driving from Madison to Cocoa Beach, and he happened to be behind this appropriately-licensed Camry. From the looks of it he's just leaving Madison. Hopefully this Camry isn't an omen of Camrys to come on his trip.

I wonder whether RAM YA 1-6 were already taken? Perhaps the driver has already gone through those plates on his previous Toyotas that he rammed into things?

Just another Toyota operator

Here's the problem with Toyota building a full-size pickup: your typical Toyota driver doesn't know a thing about how to drive. Which leads to the following display of Toyota driver aptitude:

Coming soon- reserved parking for your dented Lexus

As a part of my work with Autosavant.net, I receive TONS of worthless press releases by most major automakers. This one from Toyota/Lexus just takes the cake. The press release is in italics below:

LEXUS CUSTOMERS NOW HAVE RESERVED PARKING AT WACHOVIA CENTER IN NEW DEAL WITH COMCAST-SPECTACOR

(Philadelphia, PA – December 10, 2007) Lexus drivers in the Greater Philadelphia Region now can have priority parking at the Wachovia Center as part of a new sponsorship package between Lexus and arena owner Comcast-Spectacor.

“Lexus continues to be a great advertising partner of ours,” said Comcast-Spectacor President Peter Luukko. “As we continue to look for new and exciting opportunities for our fans and our sponsors, Lexus remains a terrific partner.

“As a result of this new arrangement, we’re able to offer our customers who drive Lexus cars an opportunity to park in a specially designated space with other Lexus owners.”

As part of the new three-year advertising and sponsorship package, Lexus drivers can park in a designated Lexus parking spot in either of two lots in the Wachovia Center (C-Lot and E-Lot). Additionally, these new parking sections will feature Lexus advertising prominently featured on the light polls.

Comcast-Spectacor (comcast-spectacor.com) is the Philadelphia-based sports and entertainment company which owns the Philadelphia Flyers (NHL), the Philadelphia 76ers (NBA), the Philadelphia Phantoms (AHL), the two arenas in which their teams play, the Wachovia Center and Wachovia Spectrum, four Flyers Skate Zone community ice skating and hockey rinks and Comcast SportsNet Philadelphia.

I can just imagine all of the smug Lexus drivers in the Philadelphia area, beleiving they are fully elite because of the opportunity to park their cars in special lots. I actually like to think of it a a concentration-camp for bad drivers and banged-up cars. If we could force Lexus and Toyota drivers everywhere to park in brand-specific parking lots, we could significantly reduce the risk of risk of parking lot damage to our own more-special, carefully-driven-and-maintained cars.

Snowy weather brings out the best in Camry drivers...

Oh, for the lack of a camera when you need it...
Driving on Madison's unplowed residential streets today I came across two drivers living obliviously in Camry-land (the state of being so immersed in Camry-ness that the rest of the world ceases to exist).
I encountered these two drivers within 100 yards of one another (but scarily, within mere feet of me!) One: had parked right up next to a snow bank on an unplowed street and was spinning, spinning, spinning to no avail to get out. This Camry was parked on the opposite side of the street from every other car, making an extremely narrow passageway on the snowy lane. Two: after negotiating the stuck white Camry, I was coming upon a maroon Camry headed towards me driving on the wrong side of the road towards me. I stopped to allow this errant plasti-mobile room to re-attain the correct side of the road, but the driver piloted her craft even more to my side of the road, and inched closer to me, motioning to me that i should pass on the wrong side of her. Once I was passed, she continued on the wrong side of the road towards stuck white Camry. I didn't see what transpired when push came to stuck. What a bunch of morons...

Hall of Shame

This really speaks for itself...

I know it is old news...

Stupid Toyota...


http://blog.lexus.com/2007/10/post.html