Wednesday, 3 February 2010

US Government Urges Camry Drivers to Stop driving

In a move that we at Anti Camry have been calling for over the course of several years, Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood today announced that drivers of Toyota Camrys and Corollas should stop driving their cars and return them to the dealerships.

While LaHood gave this statement under the auspices of Toyota’s “ThrottleGate” recall, sources close to the secretary have indicated that the instruction was done for general public safety in a bid to rid the roads poorly-driven late-model Camry and Corollas. The fact that the other affected Toyotas are also being taken out of service is being seen as a bonus by those in the Anti-Camry movement.

“We couldn’t have ever dreamed that our suggestions would be implemented by the Transportation Secretary,” said a spokesperson for the Anti Camry blog. “The removal of all those tan Camrys and Corollas, which we had always assumed would be a self-fulfilling request as driver after driver crashed their cars due to lack of driving skills and interest, has been unintentionally accelerated by the Toyota Motor Company itself, and aided by the Federal government.”

Because of the recent recall activity, some critics wonder whether the “curse of the Tan Toyotas,” so long documented by Anti Camry, has actually been a result of shoddy engineering that causes the cars to be unable to be driven well, rather than just because of ennui on the part of their drivers. We contend that while the built in difficulty-to-control aspects certainly contribute to the poor driving styles, it still appears that the main factor is the drivers.

Having identified the fact that unskilled drivers in Camry and Corolla vehicles (their inexperience amplified by worry over the recall and by unpredictable electronic throttles) are the cause of so much frustration and danger on our nation’s roadways, Secretary LaHood had no choice but to act. For that, he gets our Public Servant of the Month Award.

While chaos is anticipated at Toyota dealerships nationwide, attorneys across the country have begun salivating that prospect of lawsuits against Toyota for such reasons as Loss of Use, Accidents caused by Unintended Acceleration, and Emotional Distress. While the first two of those are valid concerns, anybody who actually bought or leased Camry and Corolla vehicles can be shown to have been experiencing a type of emotional distress known as severe depression (caused by the knowledge they would be sentenced to driving their dull transportation appliances); Toyota will be able to vigorously defend against this type of lawsuit.

1 comment:

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